My unsolicited advice (kinda)

I have five friends pregnant right now, and for four of them it's their first. I get lots of questions (not just from them) about book and general advice. While I'm a very big believer in natural childbirth (NCB), breastfeeding, and babywearing, I really try hard not to talk much about that specifically. I figure that my friends know I did all of those things, so they'll ask specifically if they want more information. Recently, I've been getting more questions on those things. And like my CD post, I decided one big post on my blog should cover it all. And like that post, this is all purely my opinion. If anyone has any (positive) recommendations to add via comment, feel free to add them.

The first thing I recommend is to make sure you have a care provider that you are on the same page with. For example, if you want a NCB, you'll have a better chance of getting it with a midwife. If you know you want an epidural and C-section, then go with an OB with a high section rate, since they obviously have the experience.

If you are just beginning your research on what type of birth you want, I highly recommend the book "Your Best Birth" by Abby Epstein and Ricki Lake. It's very easy reading, and will help get you thinking about what's important to you. I would then move to "A Thinking Woman's Guide to a Better Birth" by Henci Goer. I LOVE this book. It's very statistically and scientifically based. For women who think that a convenience induction at 39 weeks, an epidural at 2cm, and letting your OB/MW break your water are harmless, then this is the book for you. Informed consent in obstetrics is a joke, and this book will help educate women.

The documentary "The Business of Being Born" is a great movie to get you thinking. You can get it from Netflix. It's about the state of obstetrics and birth in America. I think it's another great place to start.

Now, as far as where NOT to start. Skip TLC shows. They are a joke. Do NOT read "What to Expect When Expecting". If you want to buy a book at Barnes and Nobles, check out "Your Pregnancy Week by Week". I have major issues with the "Babywise" books. So much so, I threw the one I had in the trash, rather than resell it or pass it along. There is sound scientific evidence that the Babywise methods can be physically harmful to your child. Research this fully if someone recommends it, before deciding it's for you.

Now, if you've checked out the above books and information, and you've decided you want more of a natural and intervention free birth (as well as raising your child more "natural"), good for you. (If not, still, good for you. In the end, all our sweet babies need is our love.)

So, what's next? Since birth comes before the baby, I'll start there. The very first thing I would do is run out and buy Ina May Gaskins book, "A Guide to Childbirth". Ina May is a world famous midwife. She is the only midwife to have a medical procedure named after her, and taught in medical school/OB residencies. I love her book. The first half of it is full of amazing birth stories, that are inspiring. The second half is really interesting information and theories related to childbirth. I love the part about sphincters!

If after all that, you've decided that a NCB is for you, it's time to do some serious preparation. This is how I've had someone explain it to me, and so I'll share it. You wouldn't go out to run a marathon without training for it. You would spend months jogging, running, and training. The same thing goes for childbirth. It's HARD work, physically and emotionally. And if you are going to do it without drugs, then you've GOT to prepare. There are a few main programs out there to choose from. I did hypnobabies. I loved it, and I'm doing it again for Eli's birth. There is also hypnobirthing, which is a little different. Another popular program is the Bradley Method. I'd say just look up all three, and pick whichever seems to mesh best with your personality.

I wouldn't pay lots of money if you are on the fence about NCB. If you are going into it with the mindset that you'll just avoid drugs unless you really need them, then it's pointless. It takes a FULL and total commitment , because there will most certainly be a point in your labor where you think you really need an epidural or drugs. Then, in a way , you've wasted money on the classes. However, it never hurts to do some preparation. If the goal is to make it as far as possible in the labor without drugs, then most certainly do some preparation. I just don't see the point in someone spending time on a program like the above, if they know without a doubt they want an epidural when they roll in the door.

I need to wrap this up b/c The Bachelor is coming on, LOL.

As far as breastfeeding, just know it hurts and can be difficult. It may be natural, but that doesn't mean it's going to be easy. Know this in advance, and fully commit to it, b/c you'll need that commitment to get through the first couple of weeks. Then it's easy breezy!

As far as wearing your baby, check out thebabywearer.com. I highly suggest investing in a Moby wrap for the first six months or so. LOVE THE MOBY!!! We use a babyhawk meitai carrier now. I also like my hotsling. A lot of ladies I know swear by the Ergo carrier, but I don't have one.

Now, questions and positive comments welcome!