Oops, I did it again. (I love Britney Spears.) And apparently, I did do it again. What, you wonder? Well, obviously my opinions written on my blog have offended a "friend". I use the term loosely here. I'm sure there are people who disagree with and are offended by things I write about. Luckily, it's my blog, so I can write what I want. Freedom of speech and all that. Fortunately there is also freedom of choice, as in choosing to not read my offensive blog. Everyone has that right. I usually blog about Drake and what he's up to. And post his adorable little pictures. But I also enjoy blogging about things I am passionate about. Heavens knows there are plenty of those! I'm in general a very passionate and opinionated person. Those traits are probably what feeds my desire to blog, and the enjoyment I get from it.
In my last post about Drake's weight, I wrote about feeling bitter since I feel I've done everything "right". I even put the word right in quotations in that post. I don't HAVE to explain myself. Or expand on every little thing. But "right" in that context meant right for me, and right for my family. I've said it before on this blog, and I'll say it again. Just because I've decided that something is right for me and my family, doesn't mean that it's right for others. It also does not mean that people who don't do the same things I do, are in the wrong. For example, my cousin Ashlee had C-sections with both her daughters. They were medically indicated to save her and her child from further complications. I, obviously, don't think she's in the wrong for her C/S. My friend Tarah chooses to formula feed. She's decided it's what best for her and her family, and it works for them. She is a wonderful Mommy who loves her girls wholeheartedly. She's no less of a Mom just b/c she formula feeds. My SIL Bridget started solids with my niece at 4 months. She also has decided it's what best for her and her family. She also loves her daughter with all her heart, and she is indeed no less of a Mom because of when she starts solids.
Every Mom simply does what is best, in their opinion. I'll share this little quote with you, in that it's one of my favorites. "There are no medical facts, only medical opinions disguised as facts". That quote makes me smile, because it's true to an extent. Obviously, there is plenty of medical fact. But for a lot of "facts", you can find research studies to dispute the "fact". Take cloth diapering for example. There are plenty of articles claiming it to NOT be beneficial for the environment, since it requires water to wash them so frequently. Or take breastfeeding: there are articles out there saying that it's NOT best, due to all the stuff mommies consume in their diets that can be sent to the babies. I, as a Mommy, choose to believe what I want. So does every other Mommy. We choose what we believe, and then we choose how that affects our family. Freedom of choice is a beautiful thing, isn't it?
I share a lot of things on my blog to hopefully open peoples eyes to an alternative way of looking at things. Or to educate others to non-mainstream ideas. Kinda like when I wrote about why I use midwives, and what a doula is. They aren't necessarily mainstream, so it was nice to shed some light on that for people who read my blog.
Back to the issue at hand. My blog obviously offends a girl I went to high school with, to the point that she herself wrote quite the blog post. In an effort to make this blog post of mine more clear, I am copying and pasting hers below. To avoid copywrite issues, it's from www.kmkandherday@blogspot.com. Her words are below, in bold and italics.
Some People are Just Mean.
Okay.
I shall remain silent no more. Of course, I typically do TRY to keep my mouth shut when someone says something just plain ignorant. If you are a health care "professional," it is not okay to call someone a crackhead whore! It just isn't. Not everyone that has a c-section opts for it, or schedules it in their day planner. There ARE medical rationales for having to have a c-section, hints the word "emergency," which is so often synonymously used with it in charts. Whichever birth a women partakes in to have her child, it may just be natural TO HER. I have 2 extremely healthy children, one 7p 11 ounces, and another 8p 4ounces.
They had all of their immunizations, with ZERO effects! If that makes me "granola" oh well, I'm not a damn cereal bar! Both of my children were diapered in disposable diapers, and had no diaper rashes, and were both potty trained at a year. They lack developmental delays, or any of any sort, and yes, they drank out of plastic bottles! Katelyn walked at 8 months, my son at 12. Freedom of choice is what makes this such a great country to live in. Also, I am sorry but if you had your tit hanging out in a public place feeding your child or not, I wouldn't want my son seeing it. What you consider natural, to me is indecent to my child. (and yes, I breastfed)..by the way..are they even real? If not, how about organic? I'm sorry, do you eat all non-chemical foods, or beer? Are you having detrimental side effects. Did you wear disposable diapers, eat organic baby food, and go without immunizations, unlikely!
Besides, we all know you must have them to enter school! What REAL evidence is there that plastic bottles, or immunizations harm any child? Some "granola" website, which is monetarily gaining from their sale of such "organic" products. I am sorry, don't you give drugs for a living? (because that is what anesthesia is right?)...just plain hypocritical. My children both ate solids before 6 months, and neither has a problem with "childhood obesity." Perhaps each persons' individual way of mothering and reering a child is just as good as your own, since you have so much experience..what..months?
Now, like I said, Kim has obviously had enough of my blog. Luckily she knows all about freedom of choice making this country great, and isn't required by law to read my offensive blog. Geez, good thing!
Yes, I am a healthcare professional. And yes, the term crackhead whore sufficiently describes a patient from time to time. If I'm doing a C/S, its necessary for me to know my patient is a crackhead whore. The crack (and other random drugs) can potentially interact with drugs I give. Her being a whore (paid prostitute) puts her at risk for communicable diseases that ARE my business if her blood, vomit, and whatever else ends up on me. I work in a Level I, urban trauma center. Yes, I do get some sweet women with adorable little husbands for C/S. I also get the other end of the spectrum. And when THAT end of the spectrum comes in, and has a beautiful healthy child, I'm bitter and jealous. ESPECIALLY WHEN FACED WITH THE POSSIBILITY THAT MY CHILD HAS A SERIOUS ILLNESS. Fault me for my feelings, fine. But they are my feelings and I'm entitled to them. I'm allowed to feel how I feel. (Thanks Michelle!)
Being a healthcare professional, I am also aware that there a variety of reasons to have a C-section. They can at times be life saving for both mom and baby. I'm all for those. I'm happy to do them, and happy when everyone turns out well. But I'm gonna go way off on a tangent here, and talk all about the C/S that DO annoy me. First and foremost, a purely elective c/s for women who simply don't want to labor. They don't want to "hurt" with labor. They don't want their vajayjay stretched out. Whatever the reason, they wuss out of birthing a child the way our bodies are intended, and take what they believe is the easy way out. If only they knew. It pisses me off that it's even an OPTION, when women who go into hospitals with natural birth in mind are told they DON'T have options. I also can't stand when people demand early c/s because they are "tired of being pregnant". Are you kidding me? Who isn't tired of being pregnant in the third trimester! That reasoning is just a joke in my opinion. C/s for butt first breech presentation are one of my current pet peeves. Canada and some European countries are following research that says a butt first breech delivery is NO RISKIER than a c/s. The US doesn't follow that yet, because let's face it. Our OB's don't know how to deliver breech babies anymore. And they make a lot more money from a c/s than a vaginal delivery. It's just really sad to me that I can't "choose" to have a breech delivery, when the woman next door can "choose" a C/S because she's heard contractions hurt. Let's see, what other c/s annoy me.......Oh yes- the repeats done because an OB uses fear to talk the patient into it. Uterine rupture is such a small risk (1% or less I believe), yet women choose a repeat c/s because they "don't want to die during labor". We do a ton of c/s at work because of FTP; Failure to Progress. I have personally renamed this failure to push. Being induced when a body just isn't ready, laid on your back, then made numb from the chest down......and then we wonder how a failure to progress came to be??? If women would wait until their bodies were ready, stay upright, and be able to push effectively, our c/s rate would go way down. I'm seriously disturbed that it's over 30% now in this country. It makes me sad. Like I said before, I'm all for a honest to goodness medically indicated C-section. But the others just make me sad:-( I'm off my C/S tangent now. Back to your regularly scheduled programming.
It's great that women can choose to view their birth, no matter how it goes, as natural. But let me say for the record, that as someone who birthed a baby completely natural without so much as a damn Tylenol, I will be offended when someone calls their intervention filled birth "natural".
Choosing to fully vaccinate a child is as far from granola as possible. It's the other end of the spectrum from granola. I'm always thrilled when children are vaccinated without injury. But the fact remains that there ARE children with documented vaccine injuries in this country. No one knows what the true long term effects will be from each and every new vaccine that pops up. While I'd rather my child not be a guinea pig, I couldn't care less what other parents do. Just because Drake only gets one vaccine at a time, doesn't mean that the kid who gets 6 vaccines at once is any worse off. That kid's parent (hopefully) researched and made her own educated decisions.
I get annoyed beyond belief listening to "My child x,y,z, and they are just fine." I don't make ANY of my decisions based on one example. I prefer statistically significant research studies with large numbers of participants.
I don't breastfeed Drake with my "tit" hanging out in public. But I also refuse to cover him up. He's eating, not molesting me. I suggest to parents that if your child questions what I'm doing, to use it as a teaching moment and explain that God created our bodies to sustain our children, long before formula was around. It may be a perfect introduction into that birds and bees talk.
And can I just say how unbelievably honored I am that anyone would think my boobs are so fabulous that they are the handiwork of a plastic surgeon?!?! These are all mine, and I agree that they are quite nice. But after breastfeeding all my kids, I probably will need that plastic surgeon. I wore sposies, drank forumla, got all my shots, and I'm still brilliant. But it was a close call=)
Vaccines are not required to enter schools in all states, if you claim religious exemption. It's quite easy to do, at least in NC and SC. FWIW.......
If I didn't have such a cute little man occupying so much of my attention, I'd be happy to pull up some articles that explains precisely which plastics, and what ingredients of vaccines are dangerous. But alas he does indeed keep me busy. I suggest to a mom who honestly wants to know these things, to do her research just as I did. I have two books I am particularly fond of. "Healthy Child, Healthy World" is a book all about green living. "The Vaccine Book" by Dr. Sears contains unbiased factual info about vaccines. Those are some of my go-to books when I have a question about something. Great info in them!
Generally, anesthesia involves giving drugs, lol. It's what I do, I enjoy it, and I'm well compensated for it. It hardly makes me a hypocrite just because I choose a granola and green lifestyle.
I have never once said that other peoples way of mothering isn't as good as mine. I have, however, frequently said that I choose what's best for MY family. Not all families, but mine. It's what works for us. No, we are not completely green and all into healthy living. I personally love the quarter pounder with cheese combo at McDonalds. It's my very favorite fast food! We take it one day at a time. And I take this blog one post at a time. I speak my mind, and I'm usually brutally honest. It's chock full of my opinions. I think it's unfortunate that Kim feels I insinuate that any Mom who doesn't do the same things I do, is a bad Mom. That isn't the case at all. I don't generally label people as bad mothers, except maybe the crackhead whore.
With all of that said, I hope that none of my family, or true friends feel I have belittled their parenting. It's not my intention in this blog. But I will not change how my thoughts come out on here, or edit them to avoid hurt feelings. It is what it is, and if you don't like it, then don't read it.
Can I get an Amen?
