I know, I know.....

It's been forever since I've blogged. However, you will be happy to know that my New Years Resolution is to blog more frequently. It's also to blog mostly about my family, rather than it being a place I vent.

We are in the process of packing up and moving back to Charlotte. We are going back for a variety of reasons. Job, OB care, pediatric care, and general level of happiness with where we live. I don't feel like elaborating right now, because I'm tired after working 12 hours. I'm beyond happy to be going back. I will really miss having my parents nearby, and I know Drake will too. Luckily, they came to Charlotte a lot before, and hopefully they will after we move back. I can't wait to only work 40 hours a week!

I'm finally getting excited about Christmas, since I finally feel prepared. I can't wait for Drake to experience his first Christmas, although he has no clue what's going on. He's getting some really cool stuff. Only nine gifts total, and I'm so proud I gave myself a limit. 5 from us, and 5 from Santa. We are only giving him four though! I'm also very proud to announce that all of the presents are either wooden, or books. Yay us! I met the no plastic challenge for Drake. I think I only bought one plastic thing out of all the gifts I bought. (For everyone)

We plan to have a chill and low key Christmas, as much as possible. Lots of time in our PJ's! Unfortunately I work Saturday, and Sunday we "move" to my parents. We are staying with them for a week, since we are moving the rest of our stuff to Charlotte. Next Saturday afternoon we have Drake's birthday celebration, and we MOVE on Sunday!!! Yippee Yay! So, as you can see we've been super busy, and it's not going to get better any time soon.

Drake is a joy as always, and is everywhere! He can take 4-5 steps before sitting or falling. He LOVES to walk behind his push toys. He says DaDa and Hey, but they aren't real words. It's more just a repeat of the "d" and "a" syllables. To some others, they may seem like words. It's really cute! He is recuperating from bilateral ear infections, but is on the mend. Last Friday night was rough, but it's been better since. I cannot believe he is almost a year old. He is so unbelievably sweet, and the favorite part of my day is always rocking him to sleep. My pregnancy is also going great, I'll be the magic 24 week tomorrow. Viability!!! It's a good thing there are 16 weeks left, because we are NOT ready for this baby. We've got to get a nursery set up, hopefully by the end of February. Eric's parents may come that month sometime, so that could be a big help!

Okay, enough of an update for now. I really do promise to be a better blogger in the new year!

Been awhile...

It's been awhile since my last blog. When working between 50-60 hours a week, it's hard to find time to sit at the computer. So, what's new with the Kirsch family? Still no pediatrician, still miss my midwives in Charlotte something crazy, and work sucks.

I feel like I was majorly misled regarding the schedule and work hours here. I thought it was just me. But I've discovered in the past two weeks that the majority of our department is looking for a new job. I was SHOCKED. But, I can understand why. The sad thing is I really like most of the anesthesiologists I work with, and the OR staff. And quite a few of the CRNA's. But as I said to Eric, if I'd worked this many hours in Charlotte, I'd be making just as much money. I'm sure many of you saw my facebook status about the grass being greener. Work is pretty much what I was referring to.

We are evaluating what it would take to move back to Charlotte. Rather, I am evaluating. Eric's job is going well here. Of course, he still doesn't have his PA license, so that could change things. But, other than my parents, there aren't many things to keep me here. I honestly don't see my extended family much more than what I did while living in Charlotte. If we move back, it means I'll be a single Mom for part of the week. We don't love that idea, but we've done it before and managed. And considering all of the other positives, I think it would be worth it. No situation is forever. Changes can always be made.

I may have the best husband in the world. While he thinks I haven't given living here enough of a chance, he also understands the myriad of reasons I'd love to be living in Charlotte again. And he's okay with me evaluating my options. Most importantly, he just wants me to be happy. And if moving back makes me happy, then he'll deal. That's why I love him:-)

We are having Christmas pics tomorrow. I'm excited!

My SIL, brother, niece, mom, and dad have ALL had a really bad stomach virus this week. I'm waiting to start vomiting at any moment. PLEASE let my family get skipped in this sickness. I'm gonna be ticked if I get sick and it interferes with our trip to Buffalo.

I can't really think of much else happening or to blog about. I will say that it's really nice having this private. I had my suspicions that someone who requested permission to access my blog was one of the people leaving nasty messages. I denied that person, and I'm glad I did. Those suspicions have pretty much been confirmed. Good thing I went with my gut instinct on that one.

A thankful post

While I don't live in Charlotte, and my midwives there aren't currently providing my care, I am still extremely thankful for them.

Each and every one of the five.

I met Jan first, so we'll start with her. I love her for so many reasons. She was SO encouraging and optimistic. To quote her, "You're going to get pregnant and STAY pregnant!". She told me in not so many words that if I was having a mental freak out moment, and just needed confirmation, to just call the office and tell them I was having cramps. I love this woman b/c she told me how to get around the system called insurance. And from that VERY first visit, she gave me a great big bear hug every time I saw her.

I think I met Tina next. Tina gets a gold star because she answered TWENTY SIX questions on my list at the 20 week visit. TWENTY SIX. Seriously, I get a freaking award that. It's funny now. She sat down, talked with me, and never once acted impatient to get out of that room. Later in my pregnancy, Tina scolded me. I was later thankful for the scolding. She told me to QUIT trying to always diagnose myself, and to CALL them with any issues or questions. She told me that they were there for me no matter what, and to never hesitate to call them. Tina was the midwife on call the day Drake was born, and was the one to catch him! She was so calming and reassuring, talked me through contractions, and encouraged me the entire way. She really coached me through pushing so that I wouldn't tear. She respected and honored my every wish. And bless her heart, she came to my room the next am, just to tell me how proud she was of me. She had her purse, and looked like hell after working a 24 hour call shift, but she still came by for 15 seconds just to say that. It really meant a lot to me to hear that from her. I had my 6 week PP visit with her, and I saw her for my first couple visits with this pregnancy. She really went above and beyond for me, even though I was leaving their practice. She got on the computer in the exam room, and went to the internet to search for midwives in the Florence area. She didn't have to do that, but it's just how these ladies are. They always go the extra step.

I met Sage next. Oh, Sage. I was NOT a fan at first. She royally pissed me off at first impression. However, she really redeemed herself, and I ended up loving her. She quickly realized that I was serious about a natural childbirth, despite being a CRNA. She also sat and chatted at numerous visits, about ways to increase my chances of NCB. She recommended books, helped reshape my thinking, and suggested the arnica oil to use during pushing.

I met Nancy next, and just for the one time. She never did appts at the location I went to, but was on call the only time I went to L&D before actual delivery. I was there about 33 weeks, concerned that my water may have broken. She was sweet, honest, and really down to earth. Once again, I almost felt like I was just chatting with a girlfriend. All of the midwives made me feel like they were old friends.

Gannon was the last midwife I met, b/c she joined the practice when I was around 36 weeks. I saw her for my last few visits, and thought she was an absolute sweetheart. She was the midwife I saw in the office the morning Drake was born. I swear her quick little exam put me into full blown labor. Therefore, I am a BIG Gannon fan. She was on call the day after Drake was born, and could not believe I had delivered so soon after seeing her. I truly went from "zero to sixty" after seeing her that morning.

Tonight I decided to write about why I love these women so much, rather than whine about how much I miss them. I wish every woman could find providers they loved to pieces.

Cranky pants

I gave my cranky baby a bottle at 6pm, and he was asleep by 6:15. I'm not sure where the crankiness came from tonight, but he was not my happy sweet boy. Apparently he felt hot to my mom and Eric today, and I took his temp before bed, but it was normal. We'll see how he sleeps I guess, and if he wakes up with a fever. Maybe he'll wake up on the right side of the crib!

No news on the pediatrician front. I don't expect to hear any decision quickly. I honestly don't expect for them to suddenly accept Drake as a patient, no matter what stink they get from administration.

No decisions about my healthcare either. Do I stick with my practice, change practices, or go with the midwife? While I love my particular OB, she is only one of six doctors that could be at the birth. 3 of whom I will NEVER meet, they only share call. (Different practice all together). That didn't bother me at first, but it does now. I could switch to a different practice, one affiliated with my employer. I work with those doc's frequently in the OR, and really like 4 out of the 5. But only on a personal level. I don't love their medicalized views that childbirth is something women need to be rescued from. I've finally finished all of my paperwork, and will be mailing that to the midwife here soon. She has to review it with my records, and verify I'm low risk before accepting me. Luckily, I'm as low risk as it gets. I don't know when I'll make this decision. I just don't feel pressured to make it quite yet. Maybe in another month?

I have a good friend back in Charlotte that is looking into a home birth for her next baby. It's nice to not feel so alone.

We have no plans this upcoming weekend, and it feels GREAT!!!

Sorry for the delay...

I've been super busy this week, and I've just gotten around this morning to inviting all of you who have requested access. No worries, though, b/c I hardly blogged this week. You've missed nothing!
This morning I had my own breakfast, fed Drake and the dogs, and had cleaned the kitchen, all by 8am!!! It's amazing what can be accomplished when little stinker wakes me up at 6:20. It's okay though, because I'm normally up at 5:30 for work. I essentially got to sleep in for an entire hour:-) Today's agenda includes some shopping and a trip to the Pecan Festival. I don't know what all the hoopla is about regarding this festival, but I may check it out. Eric had another 80 hour work week, so I doubt he'll be joining Drake and myself. He needs some sleep! Drake is napping at the moment, and we will start our fun day when he wakes up.

I'm using my online friend Shauna's idea to post each day what I'm thankful for, during the month of November. I'm doing it on Facebook. This week, I was particularly thankful for considerate coworkers. We had a known H1N1 patient that needed anesthesia care, and I had two coworkers arrange it so that I wouldn't have to do that case. They didn't HAVE to do it, because there are no policies about it. But they switched the assignments quickly, and without complaining.

My employer only has the H1N1 vaccine in mist form. Yes, the live virus form. So in between the patients with it, and the freaking employees all walking around shedding the live virus from their nose, I am doomed. I'm waiting for the fever and chills to set in at any moment.

I don't believe I ever posted an update on the never ending saga now referred to as the "pediatrician issue". After Drake's appt with the family practice doc, I resumed my quest to get him an appointment at the actual pediatricians office. I was just going to make a January appt, and pick up with them for his 12 month checkup. First problem: the lady told me she had too many people at her window to talk to me, and she'd have to call me back. That would be fine for most people, but I will more than likely be taking care of an anesthetized patient when you try to call me back. I can't exactly talk then, know what I mean? So I went to their office after work, where problem number two presented itself. She told me they SHREDDED HIS RECORDS, and I'd have to fill out the medical release forms to start the process OVER. My head nearly started spinning around. I'm not kidding.

Now, problem number three. And this is where I get on my soapbox, so you may want to skip this paragraph, and the next couple. I got a phone call two days later from a staff member. I have no idea if she was a nurse or receptionist. However, I have to admit she was pleasant despite calling to really piss me off. Maybe that's why she was pleasant? Anyhow, this Kristy chick tells me that they received Drake's complete chart from Charlotte, and the doctor had reviewed it. (She didn't say which one, and I didn't think to ask). I'm assuming Dr. Whitehead since that is who I believe she specifically works for. She proceeds to then tell me that their office won't be accepting Drake as a patient, because he is "too complicated", and the way we vaccinate is "too confusing". She says that they don't think we are a "good fit" for their practice. Apparently they were all up in arms over a piece of paper from his Charlotte chart where I (supposedly) refused all vaccines. I told her they should review it a little more closely, b/c it was actually a general release form to not hold the office accountable for any vaccine reactions. It was also a form I signed indicating that we would NOT be following the AAP schedule of vaccination, and we understood and accepted the risks associated with that. I asked her if they received his vaccine records, and she indicated they had. I pointed out that those alone indicate they are interpreting the other piece of paper incorrectly, because we do indeed vaccinate our child. We may not do it on the almighty schedule they want us to, but we get it done eventually.

This whole situation pissed me off for a number of reasons. First, I don't like being told no. At this point in time, I don't even want this pediatricians office taking care of my dogs, but they are the ONLY one my insurance pays for. So, I'm stuck. Second, them telling me "No" is them telling me that my opinion and thoughts as Drake's mom don't matter one bit. It's their way or the highway. And sadly enough, these assholes are getting away with it. I want to open their narrow little minds up just a little, and show them there ARE other ways to do things. But many of these doctors (of this practice) were raised here, went to college and med school here, and then did residency here. Here, meaning SC. Maybe this lack of variety is contributing to how narrow minded they are being. If I had a chance to talk with them, there is an very easy way to point out the lack of reasoning behind their "excuse" for not taking Drake. Their claim is he's too complicated and would be in the office too often. Well, what about formula fed babies? If a mom won't or can't breastfeed, do they kick those patients out of the practice? They are after all, by all statistics and reports, sick more often. Doesn't that then make them more complicated and in the office more often?

I'm calling bullshit on these people. In my opinion, they simply don't like, and can't handle moms who do their own research, and WANT TO MAKE THEIR OWN DECISIONS FOR THEIR CHILDREN. I'd like to tell them to have their own children if they are interested in being the end all be all in a child's medical decision making. Because this Mommy makes her own choices. I don't care what letters are behind your name, I will still do my own research and decision making. I'm sorry it pisses off the control freak in you, but not so sorry I'll blindly follow your poor advice.

Now that my heart rate is up, here's where it all stands now. I casually mentioned to my boss that the peds office for our employer wouldn't take Drake as a patient, and I was at a loss for what to do to obtain healthcare for my child. See, this hospital system heavily recruited me, and gave in to many of the things I asked for in my recruitment package. They got me here, and now they won't give my child healthcare. It's honestly something I could take back to Human Resources and my recruiter, and make a big stink about it. I chose to simply mention it to my boss in passing. He in turn mentioned it to one of the docs we work with, who asked for me to write down a few details about the situation. I sent him an email with more details than they EVER wanted to know, and now we'll just wait and see what happens. The doc we work with who wanted this info, is really high up on the administrative food chain. (Supposedly, I'm really not sure since I haven't been working there that long). He told my boss he'd just handle it at the administrative level. Whatever the heck that means. I was just going to send a letter to the administrators, but it looks like I've got someone to handle my dirty work for me.

So, after this long saga, it looks like Drake may possibly get a pediatrician. It really sucks, because now I don't even WANT him to go to this office, but it's the only one my insurance covers. There is another office in town, but it's owned by the competing hospital. It would cost us much more to go there. It's unfortunate, because I know for a fact that they have a doc on staff there who is COMPLETELY open minded about vaccines. He even takes care of kids who's parents don't vaccinate at all. If insurance wasn't an issue, we'd be seeing him in a second.

I can't believe Drake is still sleeping, and I finished this entire post.

I also wanted to add that sweet Victoria Martinsen passed away this past week. She was seven years old, and had been battling cancer for the last three years. This was an amazing little girl, and I send out heartfelt hugs to her parents Nils and Elizabeth. And to her two brothers Alexander and Nicholas. This sweet family has been through hell and back, and I'll continue to pray for their healing and comfort. I really miss all of my pediatric oncology patients and families from Charlotte.

Drake's Nine Month Portraits

I took Drake for his nine month portraits back in October, and I went last week to view the results. One word---AMAZING! I was so grateful for Collin to capture his sweet smile, his devilish smile, the ever present finger in the mouth, those cute little teeth, and of course his gorgeous blue eyes. Collin and his wife make a great team; she comes up with lots of ideas for posing and backgrounds, and he does his magic with the camera. The results are beautiful photos to remember my sweet boy at this special age. While I love all the photos, there is one that just take my breath away. It's the one of him in the blue sweater and hat, and he is staring dead into the camera. The expression on his face is so serious. The photo is seriously breathtaking. Now, maybe I just feel this way because he's my child. But I honestly think that even someone who doesn't like kids could appreciate this stunning photo.

Halloween 2009

Random thoughts of the morning

First random thought: Why do pediatricians give so much shit to a parent who doesn't vaccinate according to the AAP schedule, but yet just lets it go when a parent doesn't breastfeed as the AAP recommends? Why is one AAP recommendation more important than another? Why jump all over some Mom's, and let others "off the hook"?

Second random thought: Why be completely neurotic about taking even a Tylenol while pregnant, yet show up to the hospital begging for drugs before they'll even admit you, just b/c you NEED the epidural? News flash: That little epidural has a million more potential complications than a Tylenol. I'm just sayin'........

And lastly, stay tuned for photos! I think it's finally cool enough to put Drake in his costume long enough for photos. I don't believe in making my child uncomfortable in a hot costume, just so "I" can celebrate Halloween. Next year I'll know to get one with short sleeves and no long pants!

Happy Halloween!!!

It's Drake's first Halloween, and the sweet boy is sleeping right through it! Not surprising at all for our little man. We were remarking earlier how happy we are to have such a chilled out Halloween, because we know it's the last one. After this, we'll have at least one chid who understands the concept, and will be excited. I miss our old neighborhood tonight. We used to put the firepit in our front circle, and pull chairs out front. We'd sit outside and have our adult beverages, while passing out candy to all the kiddos. Our immediate neighbors would always sit out front with us, and it was such a fun time. The kids would all come around with their parents, all dragging wagons full of small children and coolers with more adult beverages. Our neighborhood really knew how to do Halloween:-)

I've been having a pity party all week of missing Charlotte. I knew going there for the weekend would make me homesick all over again. It's not that there's one particular thing there that is so amazing. It's simply that I feel more myself there, more comfortable in my own skin. I just feel more "me" there. I'm not sure I'll ever get to that point here in Florence, but it has only been just under two months. I love having my parents nearby for a multitude of reasons, and I like my job a lot. But I don't know if those two things will be enough to keep us here after my two year contract is up.

I've been back on the debt reduction bandwagon. Not that I was ever off, but I've been thinking about it more recently. Our focus right now is not exactly debt, but rather avoiding it. We desperately need a new car before Shim #2 gets here. We are more than likely buying a used Honda Pilot. It has the features I want, and is reasonable priced. My plan is to not spend over 20K. We REALLY don't want a car loan. So, we are saving!!! We're almost to the $7000 mark, and I'm so proud of us. I'd love to take that money and head on some tropical vacation like we normally do. But since Dave Ramsey and my "education", my mindset is different. Having children changes that as well. I want to work part time, between 24-30 hours a week. But until our debt is gone, that won't be an option.

2 of our 5 large debt items are gone. First was our credit cards back in Aoril, and second is my school loan/scholarship from the hospital I now work for. Coming back here to work has huge financial advantages! In just those two things alone, we've eliminated almost $50,000 in debt. Go us!!! After we purchase our new to us car, the next thing on my agenda is my official grad school loan. It's the big one from the federal goverment, and I can't wait to start paying on it! My goal is to start on that by next May. We don't know what our tax situation will look like next year, and we may have to pay. That may change our plan significantly.

We are still (im)patiently waiting for our house to sell in Charlotte. The market is just sucking right now, so we are optimistic for spring. I really hope it sells in the spring. That will eliminate large debt item number three- our home equity line. We have talked lately about doing something completely radical, from my usual viewpoint. We have talked about taking the profit from selling our house, and outright paying off our federal student loans. That would take us to being completely debt free!!! That is such crazy concept for me. But thanks to Dave (Ramsey), I realize that is actually how we should be living our lives. We would continue to rent, and our rent is super duper cheap. Really cheap rent, combined with no debt, means alot of money coming into this house each month. Which means we then save like responsible adults, for a house down payment. It's just an idea we've toyed around with. I don't know if we'll actually do it when we get to that point, but it's a viable option to consider.

I never thought I'd be considering such ideas. Thanks Dave for opening my eyes to how freeing it is to have no debt.

Lovin it!

I'm already loving having my blog private. The only bad thing is having to take the time to add all these email addresses people are sending me. I've discovered some people that follow my blog, that I didn't know about. I'm not adding everyone that sends a request. Why? Because I don't think everyone who wants to read has good intentions. Because I believe that some who want to continue to read, may have been the ones being rude in previous comments. And if this blog is so offensive, I see no reason why someone who feels that way would want to continue to read. Example: the chick who thought my blog was "like a train wreck she just couldn't look away from". Uhhh, it's easy actually. Just don't visit the website. Especially if our ideas on parenting are EXTREMELY different, and you know you will end up pissed off.
Of course I think my parenting values and ideals are better. If there was another way that I thought was better, then I'd be using that way. It seems so logical to me, but not to others. People have written, all pissed off, that I think my ways are better. OF COURSE I DO!!! If I didn't think it was better than all the other ways out there, then why the hell would I be doing it?

We took Drake to a Halloween carnival this evening, for just a short bit. It was past his bedtime, so he was tired. But being the sweet boy he is, he was a trooper. He still smiled and giggled at people, despite being beyond ready for bed. We don't believe it's a smart thing for us to put our children on a strict schedule. Before we had children, we discussed and agreed that our children would fit into our lives, rather than us fitting into theirs. It's worked for the last nine months, and we hope it continues. Drake is very flexible, and for that we are thankful.

I'm in complete shock and awe that I'm almost 17 weeks pregnant. I think I'll have a bit of a freak out moment at 20 weeks- the big half way mark! It's time for me to start getting serious with my hypnobabies material again. It is so relaxing and soothing. I love the mantra: "Pregnancy is normal, natural, healthy, and safe." I love those four words. Soothing is the best way to describe how those four words make me feel. I love falling asleep listening to those tracks on my ipod.

I'm so excited that we are able to go to Buffalo for Thanksgiving. Working in healthcare makes holidays difficult, because the hospital is never closed. It's a rare thing that I'll be able to have an entire week off at the holidays. I'm so excited about having the whole week this year, and we are happy to see all of Drake's cousins. I can't wait for Drake to get to play with his cousins again! Especially now that he is so mobile and into everything. And it's so nice to be able to spend time with Eric's family. I have the best inlaws! Especially my MIL and SIL's. I love the men too, but the women in Eric's family are truly awesome. I feel sorry for people with crappy inlaws. I feel even worse for people who are too stupid to realize when they have great inlaws. But, those are the type people that are never happy. If they aren't ticked off or having drama over something, then they just aren't fulfilled. How sad that existence must be.

The hospital I "should" deliver at has a C-section rate of 37%. I'm horrified and disgusted. But I don't know that the other hospital is any better. I'm still unsure about a homebirth. I'm not sure when I'll make a decision, but I feel like I should make one sooner rather than later. I need to go buy a printer tomorrow, so I can print out my letter to hospital administration. The response I get to that, or the lack of response, will help shape my decision. I wish I had a crystal ball......

Privacy

I've decided that it's time for this blog to be private. Comments are enabled, so feel free to comment away! I love getting comments from people who won't be leaving rude ones. And since I'm being very selective about who I invite to read this, I don't anticipate it being a problem.

I've also started a second blog. It contains more about my job, and my passions for pregnancy/childbirth. It's written anonymously, meaning without my name or any photos that are identifying. It contains a lot more of my very opinionated opinions, and it's a place where I feel I can be more blunt. And a place where I feel like I can do more venting. I want to keep my original blog to mostly talk about my family and kiddos.

If you want the name of the other blog, I can email it to you. But I will warn you in advance, I'm being very selfish about handing it out. If you know you feel the same as me about the issues I'm passionate about, then you might enjoy reading it. Let me know!

Charlotte Fun

Last weekend, we went to the Panthers vs Bills game for Eric's birthday. It was such a fun weekend. We got to stay with our close friends Jill and Tony, and go to dinner Saturday night with a big group of our friends. Can't wait to go back to Charlotte! Here are pics from the game.

Oh yeah baby, that is a BUFFALO wing on that guys head. That may have been the coolest hat ever.

We parked near our old neighborhood, and took the train uptown. It was packed, which is very normal for a game day. I love taking the train. You can see the skyline in the distance. Those strange orange things are "art" that taxpayers money paid for. Evidence that the politicians in Charlotte aren't very smart either.
The Bills side, right before the game got started.
We figured out why our seats were cheap. You see that concrete behind us? Yep, you guessed it. We were on the VERY top row. We were also in the visitors section, but that worked out *lovely* since we were there to cheer for the visiting team.
The three minutes of sunshine the entire day. I love the Charlotte skyline. Even if we don't ever move back, that city will always have such a special place in my heart!!!
This as we were walking down the ramp, leaving the stadium. The sky was hot pink and gorgeous.

Fun at the Fair

Last week the fair was in town in Florence. I really wanted to take Drake. He was WIDE awake and totally into all the sights and sounds. He didn't want to miss a thing. My parents decided to come to, and bring McCall. The cousins had a large time!

Riding the merry go round with Grandma. This turned out to be the only ride he could go on, so we rode it four times:-)

This may be the funniest progression of pictures ever. First, is Drake thinking about waking up McCall.
Next, he makes a go for it.
Almost has her!!!!!! Check out the looks on the grandparents faces.
They managed to reel him back in, keep McCall asleep, and get a cute photo.

Riding the Merry go Round with Grandma. And no, we didn't leave poor McCall out to be mean. One, she was sleeping soundly. But more importantly, she wasn't allowed on rides per her parents instructions. She's still a bit young!

Sweet sleeping angel!
Riding with my big boy. I think he enjoyed it, but he seemed more perplexed than anything.
He was a happy boy to be at the fair.
The grandparents in all their glory.

Shim #2!!!

Last Saturday, Eric and I (and Drake of course) went to the Prenatal Picture in Charlotte. For starters, this is a wonderful facility. Clean, cute, and with a really nice sonographer. I was only 15 weeks and 4 days, so it was early for a gender scan, and really early for a 3d/4d scan. But alas, we went anyways, because it was the only time we had to go to Charlotte. My scan isn't until 19 weeks at the OB's office, due to my work schedule. And I just didn't want to wait that long:-)

I was very torn about what Shim was. My gut said boy, but I kept thinking of girls names. I just couldn't get girls names out of my head. So I was really unsure going into it.

For the first five minutes, Shim #2 wouldn't show us the goods. After some coaxing and jiggling of my tummy, those legs finally spread. BOY!!! There was no doubt about it. My initial reaction was, "Yay, Drake will get to have a brother to be close to." Eric and his brother are about 18 months apart, and I see what a special bond that is. I'm so happy that Drake will have that too.

Without further adieu, we proudly introduce the newest addition to our growing family. We can't wait to meet you little guy!

Covering his ears already. I guess Drake was too loud?

No doubt about it, that's a penis!!!
Talk to the hand...
Again, talk to the hand...
I think he was trying to tell us something ;-)

Drake update

Before I head to work, just wanted to say Drake got a great report at his "nine" month visit. Even though he is almost 9 and a half months. He is hitting his milestones appropriately, and physically very healthy. He is small as always. Drake is up to a whopping 16 pounds and 4 oz, and 26 inches long. That puts him in the 5th percentile for weight and 10th for height. I wish he was a fat chunker, but I'm learning to accept that we've got a little guy. I'm happy he's on the chart, because he certainly wasn't when he was born!

At least I'm not going to have to worry about him being obese. Seeing obese children has always bothered me, but I guess that won't be an issue with our Drakey. We are going to start adding more meat and avocado to his diet, for the protein and healthy fat.

Request

No time to write more right now, but for all of you religious/spiritual peeps out there, please say a prayer for the Victoria Martinsen family. I will tell you all about their family later. In a nutshell, they have had to call hospice in to help care for their young daughter. I've known them for years, since Victoria's first hospital admission. They are such a special family, and really would love prayers of peace and acceptance. And most of all, comfort for Victoria, that the pain would subside.

I gave up

I gave up on the pediatricians office. I have been trying for AN ENTIRE MONTH to schedule Drake an appointment, and help them get the records. I'm thinking that if they are incapable of getting this done in a months time, then I probably can't count on them if I truly needed them.

In happy news, I have Drake an appointment next week (gasp) with a family doctor that was highly recommended by coworkers. She has young children of her own, and is originally from Argentina. I like that fact that she grew up somewhere else. She's probably more open minded about extended breastfeeding, non circing, and selectively vaxing, than say a pediatrician born and raised in SC. I like for my family's care providers to be open minded, because we certainly don't just follow the crowd.

I'm really happy Drake finally gets his well baby nine month checkup. And he needs to get back on track with his vaccines. More than anything, I just really want him to have a doctor that we can call when he does get sick. As much as I love Dr. Rogers at Doctors Care urgent care center, that gets expensive. Anyways, I just wanted to share our good news of the day!

Sunday Funday

Sunday's are fun because we usually get to relax. What a wonderful thing compared to being on the go all week long. Eric took me out to dinner last night, and we found a restaurant we really liked. That alone made me happy! I had a great birthday, although I can't believe I'm 31. Eric will be 33 on Tuesday- he's really getting old!

It's back to the grindstone this week. Week number 1 of 5, until I'm off for another week. Every 6th week off is a truly glorious thing! This weeks agenda includes taking Drake to the fair on Thursday. Eric is working about 80 hours a week now, trying to build up the sleep lab he's working for. He, needless to say, won't be going with us. I'm trying to talk my parents into going. I really think Drake would enjoy seeing all of the sights.

We are going to Buffalo for my next week off, which happens to fall at Thanksgiving. We are thrilled to be able to spend the holidays with Eric's family, because the timing for that rarely works out. I am very nervous about taking Drake on an airplane in November though. Lots of germs unfortunately.

I am obsessively planning our trip to Disney. I must have something to plan at all times. For now, it's Disney World. We'll be going with a 5 month old and 20 month old. It may seem insane to some, but it works for us. I have to go to a continuing education conference once a year, and I get a stipend from work to do that. So, it might as well be at Disney. I'm really excited! Drake is going to love it, and the new baby will just love a week of snuggle time with Mommy and Daddy.

Reason number 247 to cloth diaper: Drake's butt is very fluffy when he falls. And since he does NOTHING but pull up, stand, and cruise around holding on to furniture, this is a good thing.

It's night-night time around here, so I must get to it!

DUH!

I am 31 tomorrow, not 32 like I had originally posted. Thanks Mom for pointing that out. Motherhood is KILLING my brain.

Random thoughts

My sweet boy was a such a little trooper at his nine month photos today! I couldn't believe how many times we managed to get him in a different outfit or look. Because of me having to work 5 days a week, it's gonna be about 3 weeks before I can get back to view them. I don't even want to think about how much money I'm going to spend. Shhh, don't tell my husband.

In other photo news, I've been thinking about having our next birth documented. I first heard about it in Charlotte, as there was a photographer there who had just started doing it. It is more common amongst natural birthing moms and home birthing moms. I'm not really sure why that is. There is certainly more to photograph for them. I mean, there are only so many shots you can get of a mom in bed with an epidural, and attached to an IV. I wonder if that's why NCB moms choose to have birth documentation/photos more often than other moms. So, I've been thinking about this, and an opportunity has presented itself at the perfect time.

The photographer we are using in Florence for our family's portraits has a blog on his website. Check out www.cmsmithportraits.com. His wife writes the blog, and recently wrote about possibly starting "lifestyle photography" as a division of their studio. Birth photography and documentation is part of that, and I was beyond thrilled to read about that. I really had not anticipated finding someone in Florence for that type of work. And get this---she's had TWO natural childbirths! So not only could she shoot our birth day, she could also be an advocate and supporter.

Drake is super tired this afternoon, and it took FOREVER to get him asleep. He's currently tied to my chest in the Moby. It was the only way he'd finally fall asleep. We tried everything else known to man.

I love having these two days off, and having so much snuggle time with my sweet boy. There truly isn't anything like it.

A Work In Progress

I've started my letter to my hospital's administrative staff, and it is amazingly politically correct. For someone who is more blunt than eloquent, I've really been pulling some surprising words and phrases out of my ass. I want to clarify that the hospital issues are really what's driving me towards wanting a homebirth. While I don't like my OB's office staff, or her one particular partner, I really do love my OB. She took so much time to listen to and discuss my concerns at my visit with her, and I'm really grateful for that. I'm gonna see if she'll take cash under the table to come to my birth, even if she's not on call;-)

There is a really fun (and yet disturbing) website at www.myobsaidwhat.com. It's a compilation of ridiculous things said by not just OB's, but also midwives, nurses, lactation consultants, doulas, and even some fellow anesthesia peeps. You can check it out if you want to be amused. I'm going to send in a statement from my last visit. The OB who I wasn't very fond of said (in response to my birth plan), "Well, you aren't opposed to having your water broken are you- THAT's natural". Ummmmm- no it's not. Please tell me what part of having a plastic hook inserted into my vagina, through my cervix, and then ripping a hole in my baby's protective amniotic sac IS NATURAL!!! Ummmmmm, no, it's not natural. So, I think I may send that comment in, because it's beginning to amuse me the more I think about it.

In Drake news, his separation anxiety has hit an all new high. I walked out of his nursery tonight to put a load of diapers in, and he completely lost it. I mean, bawled uncontrollably. And he wouldn't calm down until I sat down, and held him in my lap. Someone has his mommy wrapped around his chubby little fingers. I'm taking him for his nine month photos tomorrow, and I'm excited! In other exciting news, we are finally close to getting a pediatrician appointment. I raised hell today at the office in Charlotte, and they actually faxed the records since they failed to mail them last week. The nicest girl helped me (over the phone) and was very apologetic after I had demanded to speak with the office manager. Fast forward to the next conversation, with the Florence office. After three weeks of them refusing to make an appt with this certain pediatrician, without records, they just now today inform me there isn't an appt available for 2 months with the guy I requested. I said I'd be thrilled to see ANY doctor, and even happier to see the nurse practitioner. I also just had to tell them that for an office so 'concerned' with fully vaccinating their patients, they certainly didn't seem to be very concerned with getting my son in, especially when he's due for a vaccine. After that, she informed me they do have a doctor newer to the practice, who they could get Drake in with quickly. I figured that mentioning he needed a vaccine would do the trick:-)

I'll be 32 whole years old on Friday, and my massage is already scheduled!!! I'm also shopping, and getting a mani/pedi. All alone!!! I can't wait for some Nikki time. I told my parents that the only thing I wanted for my birthday was for them to watch Drake for the afternoon! Well, I've gotta get back to my letter writing. I hope to get it mailed next week.

Until next time.....

It's time...

It's either time for action, or time for a change of plans. I had the chance today to speak with the nurse manager of the L&D floor where I work. This is (obviously) where I'll be delivering our next addition. To make a long story short, I wasn't happy with her answers to my questions. Their lack of proper equipment for a natural birthing mom was disturbing. Their policies regarding visitors are deplorable. I was not impressed, to say the least. Combine that with my general level of unhappiness and dissatisfaction with the OB's office, and now I'm thinking about a change of plans.

You guessed it, I'm finally considering a midwife attended homebirth. Eric and I still have to get some questions answered by the midwife, mostly regarding what emergency equipment and supplies she travels with. I'm hoping to meet her and love her, and have the decision be an easy one.

At the same time, I'd also like to try and implement change within my employers L&D services. Some of their policies do not match the other hospital in town, and they are going to have to change those in order to stay competitive. Quite a bit of their routine doesn't follow current research; it's not evidence based practice. I intend to point that out, but doubt anything will come of it. At least I know it would in MY birth, because I'd demand it. I'm drafting a letter to send to the hospital CEO, and any other administrators involved in the L&D unit of Women's Services. Who knows if anyone will even read the letters, or much less care to do anything about it. But it will make me feel better to at least write them. Maybe they will actually take a look at their routine and policy, and other Moms will benefit. That would be beyond amazing.

I can say, for sure, 100% without doubt, that they will not get my business unless they at least amend the visiting policy for me. The other hospital in town will cost me more, since they aren't a "preferred provider" in my insurance network, but I'd consider them if my pregnancy became high risk.

Patients often assume they don't really have choices. They are told what's best for them, and what the hospital policy is, and they just go along with it. I hope just one person reads this and realizes, you DO have choices. Research, and empower yourself. Demand what you know is best for you and your family!!!

Photo Dump

My friend Adriann got married at the end of September. Congrats to her and Judd! This is me and my sweetie, before the wedding.

Drake laughing as he tries to eat a leaf. His Halloween outfit is one of his Grandma Brenda's creations.
This is what happens when I ask my husband to feed Drake lunch, on a Sunday afternoon. That's right folks, the highchair was pulled into the living room so they could watch the Panthers.
My evening routine (unless I'm one of the late CRNA's that day), is to give Drake dinner about 5:30, then a bath, and finally pajamas and a bottle. He's usually asleep in his crib between 6:30 and 7:30.
I don't know why this picture insisted on flipping back this way, but it's really cute. My boys love to nap together!
This was from our first weekend in Florence. We took Drake to the park to explore a little. He loved the swings!

The Pumpkin Patch

I sure love this stinker!

We could not in a million years have planned for this photo. Eric was just snapping away, and Drake chose that exact moment to puke. We both thought it to be hilarious, although this photo will probably make my Dad gag.

He wasn't feeling the pumpkin patch.
See the Bills gear? Drake's a true fan, even though his dad is a little frustrated with the season thus far.
He's happy as long as he can pull up and stand! He hates to sit now.
His confused face.