Week in Review

No pics, so I'll apologize in advance:-)

Another busy week around here, working and just livin' life.

Eric almost has the playset finished, and the boys are going to love it. They already love the swings and glider!

We have a fun birthday party tomorrow for the boys friend Reese- she is one, and we are excited to celebrate.

The possible gov't shutdown is freaking me out, b/c I'm worried it will slow down the processing of our application to immigration.

Drake is having his first sleep over tonight! He's stayed with grandparents before, but never with friends. He is over at Marley and Aidan's, and I miss him even though he is just across the street. At least my sweet baby is just across the hall in his crib.

I bought a some bedding for Tessa's room today. It's SO cute. I just want our sweet girl home.

The weather has been fabulous, and we are looking forward to a fun weekend outside!

All the things we've been up to....

Here are a few things I've been meaning to share:

Eric and I are in a 9 week bible study at church, called Two Becoming One. In short, it's a bible study all about marriage. There are five couples, including us, taking it, and one couple that leads it. The couple that leads it took the class many years ago, and now lead it at least once a year. They said it so strongly transformed their marriage, that they love to share it with others. We've only done one week so far, but I've enjoyed it. Eric seems to enjoy it as well, but I can't really speak for him.

****************** (Means I'm totally gonna change subjects on ya!)

Eli is growing up before our eyes. He finally weaned himself from breastfeeding, at 1o months old. It was still shy of my one year goal, but I was thrilled he self weaned early. It had been almost THREE straight years that I've either been pregnant or breastfeeding, or both. And let me just tell you folks, I am happy to have my body back, all to myself! So, since he weaned, that meant sweet thing finally got to go with his big brother on a trip to the grandparents! That means I actually got some sleep last week. For TWO nights! It was amazing. I slept 13 straight hours one night. And could've done more if I wasn't starving, haha. I only got up for food, then went back to sleep for 3 more hours. Don't judge. I know you are jealous ;-)

Apparently Eli just did fine, without me or Fran. He's quite attached to the both of us, and has never cared for his Grandma. Well let me just tell you, he's seen the good life now. When we met in Columbia to pick him up, Fran grabbed him for some snuggles, and then he reached back for Grandma. Rotten already apparently! The grandparents strike again.

The kicker? Eric's parents will be here in March, and I can only imagine what new level of spoiled they will have my kids at!

*********************

I've known since I was a teenager I wanted to adopt child(ren) one day. I knew I wanted biological children, and I knew I wanted to adopt children. I love to read, and always have. As a teenager I read a book that discussed the lack of value for girls in China, and how many were abandoned. From that moment on, I always said I wanted to adopt a baby girl from China. Fast forward 15 years, and I'm crazy busy with my two boys, and the list to adopt from China is a good five years long. Craziness! But I've known for a while now that our family isn't complete. I don't have words to eloquently describe it, but there is someone, or maybe even more than one child, still missing from our family. So easy fix, get pregnant again, right? Absolutely not. Not an option. I have zero desire to house another human. Add to that the millions of orphans in this world who need a Mommy and Daddy, and having another bio child just isn't on our list of options.

That brings us back to adoption. I don't want to do a domestic adoption, because I'd want it to be completely closed, and that's hard to find. Most birth moms want open or semi open, from what I've read, and I know I couldn't handle that. Domestic adoption is also more expensive. BTW, domestic means from here in the US.

International adoption is an entirely new world to me, but I've been doing a ton of reading over the last six months. It's really been weighing on my mind the last 3 months. Each country has different requirements and different processes. China still tugs at my heartstrings, and they have a special needs list of children that really calls to me. What does all this mean? I don't know. I'm waiting for what I want, to be on track with what Eric wants, and for both of us to be on track with what God wants. That's THREE of us that need to get in sync! The long and short of this is simply to say, that if you are the praying type, please pray that God's plan for our family be revealed to us. We know there is a plan, we are just waiting for God to let Eric and I in on all the details......

Until next time,

Peace and love,

Stream of consciousness.....

My first week back to work was great! The boys did fine; Eli is figuring out this whole bottle thing just like Dr. Dorsey told us he would. I LOVE our nannies. We have a mother/daughter team through our agency, (same as before Eli was born), and we've had the mom Sherylee all this week. She is beyond amazing, and I have no qualms at all leaving my boys with her. Plus, she is one cleaning machine! I didn't even ask her yesterday, but she unloaded/reloaded the dishwasher and washed diapers. That sure was nice to come home to.

I really do enjoy my job. It is refreshing to be out of the house three days a week, and use my brain. Gotta put that hard earned (and expensive) Masters degree to work! We had big news at work this week regarding how we are paid, and the reviews have been mixed according to who you ask. But for me and my family, the change was a fabulous thing. Plus, I'm 4 months into a project at work, and after I complete six months of it, I can apply for advancement. Which, comes with a pay raise. Another big yahoo!!!

We are going to get our car paid off by the end of the year, so that goal for 2010 will be met. Plus, we've quadrupled what we were paying each month on my student loan. I love me some Dave Ramsey, and I feel like Eric are making very smart decisions regarding our budget and debt. When I get frustrated, I just remind myself to look at our student loans as an investment, rather than just a debt.

I am attending a conference next week at the beach, staying once again at my Aunt's beach house. My Mom is coming to help with the boys, and my Dad will even make it a couple of days b/t his working. More SUN! And Drake of course loves the ocean and beach. I can't wait for more time playing in the waves with him. Unfortunately Daddy has to stay behind to work.

We are taking Drake to the waterpark at the Y today, so we've gotta get going...

Stream of consciousness.....

My two boys are exhausting and overwhelming, but worth every second.

I can't control how people treat me, but I can control if I allow them in my children's life. Treat me poorly, I'll just ignore you. Treat my children poorly, and I'll wish you to the depths of hell, and cut you out of all of our lives completely. Just a thought. Don't mess with my kids.

I'm tired of hearing about Arizona's immigration law.

Breastfeeding support group starts back up this week, and I'm super excited. I love my LC (lactation consultant) Cindy.

We turned in Drake's papers today for preschool. I hope he does indeed get the available slot. I really hope he enjoys it two days a week in the fall. It's only 9:30-1, so it shouldn't be too much. I don't want the little tyke overwhelmed.

I've NEVER envied mothers who have to send their children to daycare. Eric and I have always worked hard to make sure that private nannies are in our budget. However, if we were a daycare family, I'd be enjoying time with just Eli right now. Instead I'm taking care of a toddler who never sits still AND my newborn who lives on my boob. So, yes, right now I'm a little envious of daycare families.

I can't wait for not one, but TWO weeks at the beach with my family coming up!!!!!!! Eric can only come for a couple of days, (work), but I'll be there with the boys, my awesome parents, and many aunts/uncles/cousins. And my favorite non-relative Amber. (You'd better ask off work now!!!) Can you say Momma is getting a TAN??? Oh, and while we are there, we are having Drake's 18 month portraits, plus family portraits done on the beach. I'm super duper excited about that:-)

Although I'm tired of hearing about Arizona, I am getting a little worried about this spreading oil slick.

We got Eli's birth announcements back yesterday, and assuming I get them addressed tonight, they are going out in the mail tomorrow. They are so pretty, and I just love the way they turned out. The way we came about having his portraits done is a long story, for another post when I post the pictures.

I am amazed at how some unfortunate people allow themselves to be so completely manipulated and controlled in a marriage. I truly hope and pray it's b/c they don't see the truth, rather than assuming there is no way out. There is always a way out, and I'm always available to help.

I think my stream is over with......

The Glamorous Imposter.....random musings

Two things on my mind tonight. First, how absolutely glamorous my life is. I realized it today as I was picking up my antibiotic for my boob being infected (mastitis), along with more Ibuprofen for the fever, and stool softener. Seriously? This is my life now? Really?

G-L-A-M-O-R-O-U-S!!!

Oh the joys of having babies. They really do a number on one's body, that's for sure.

Second, I feel like an imposter. I feel like I'm posing as a Mom who has it together. Ha ha! I've got the people at the YMCA fooled. Drake has gone to Mother's Morning Out the past two mornings, and the staff can't help but comment how organized and together I am with my two boys. They have no idea how far from the truth that is. Also, a woman in the parking lot yesterday asked *me* about my double stroller. Can someone PLEASE tell me when on earth *I* became the person to give advice about something like that? As I thought about it later, I cracked up. See, I am that Mom with the double stroller, the organized diaper bags, and the meticulous day planner. That's who I am, but part of my brain still thinks I'm the cool and fun twenty something who is bar-hopping downtown on weekends. When in reality, I honestly can't remember the last time I've been in any bar or club downtown.

Another random thought process- Oklahoma sucks. Their senate just overrode the governor to pass two laws. One- they will now require pregnant women to have an ultrasound and review it's detailed results before having an abortion. There is no clause to excuse victims of rape and incest. Two- doctors who FAIL to inform parents that their child has KNOWN birth defects, cannot be sued for malpractice. All I have to say is W-T-F??? Disgusting Oklahoma, just disgusting. It's 2010, and sometimes I feel like Roe vs Wade was just passed yesterday, and we still are fighting that battle. I don't even know how these two laws are considered constitutional.

Well, I'm off to complete a few more pages in Drake's first year photo book!

Random thoughts

My sweet boy was a such a little trooper at his nine month photos today! I couldn't believe how many times we managed to get him in a different outfit or look. Because of me having to work 5 days a week, it's gonna be about 3 weeks before I can get back to view them. I don't even want to think about how much money I'm going to spend. Shhh, don't tell my husband.

In other photo news, I've been thinking about having our next birth documented. I first heard about it in Charlotte, as there was a photographer there who had just started doing it. It is more common amongst natural birthing moms and home birthing moms. I'm not really sure why that is. There is certainly more to photograph for them. I mean, there are only so many shots you can get of a mom in bed with an epidural, and attached to an IV. I wonder if that's why NCB moms choose to have birth documentation/photos more often than other moms. So, I've been thinking about this, and an opportunity has presented itself at the perfect time.

The photographer we are using in Florence for our family's portraits has a blog on his website. Check out www.cmsmithportraits.com. His wife writes the blog, and recently wrote about possibly starting "lifestyle photography" as a division of their studio. Birth photography and documentation is part of that, and I was beyond thrilled to read about that. I really had not anticipated finding someone in Florence for that type of work. And get this---she's had TWO natural childbirths! So not only could she shoot our birth day, she could also be an advocate and supporter.

Drake is super tired this afternoon, and it took FOREVER to get him asleep. He's currently tied to my chest in the Moby. It was the only way he'd finally fall asleep. We tried everything else known to man.

I love having these two days off, and having so much snuggle time with my sweet boy. There truly isn't anything like it.

A Work In Progress

I've started my letter to my hospital's administrative staff, and it is amazingly politically correct. For someone who is more blunt than eloquent, I've really been pulling some surprising words and phrases out of my ass. I want to clarify that the hospital issues are really what's driving me towards wanting a homebirth. While I don't like my OB's office staff, or her one particular partner, I really do love my OB. She took so much time to listen to and discuss my concerns at my visit with her, and I'm really grateful for that. I'm gonna see if she'll take cash under the table to come to my birth, even if she's not on call;-)

There is a really fun (and yet disturbing) website at www.myobsaidwhat.com. It's a compilation of ridiculous things said by not just OB's, but also midwives, nurses, lactation consultants, doulas, and even some fellow anesthesia peeps. You can check it out if you want to be amused. I'm going to send in a statement from my last visit. The OB who I wasn't very fond of said (in response to my birth plan), "Well, you aren't opposed to having your water broken are you- THAT's natural". Ummmmm- no it's not. Please tell me what part of having a plastic hook inserted into my vagina, through my cervix, and then ripping a hole in my baby's protective amniotic sac IS NATURAL!!! Ummmmmm, no, it's not natural. So, I think I may send that comment in, because it's beginning to amuse me the more I think about it.

In Drake news, his separation anxiety has hit an all new high. I walked out of his nursery tonight to put a load of diapers in, and he completely lost it. I mean, bawled uncontrollably. And he wouldn't calm down until I sat down, and held him in my lap. Someone has his mommy wrapped around his chubby little fingers. I'm taking him for his nine month photos tomorrow, and I'm excited! In other exciting news, we are finally close to getting a pediatrician appointment. I raised hell today at the office in Charlotte, and they actually faxed the records since they failed to mail them last week. The nicest girl helped me (over the phone) and was very apologetic after I had demanded to speak with the office manager. Fast forward to the next conversation, with the Florence office. After three weeks of them refusing to make an appt with this certain pediatrician, without records, they just now today inform me there isn't an appt available for 2 months with the guy I requested. I said I'd be thrilled to see ANY doctor, and even happier to see the nurse practitioner. I also just had to tell them that for an office so 'concerned' with fully vaccinating their patients, they certainly didn't seem to be very concerned with getting my son in, especially when he's due for a vaccine. After that, she informed me they do have a doctor newer to the practice, who they could get Drake in with quickly. I figured that mentioning he needed a vaccine would do the trick:-)

I'll be 32 whole years old on Friday, and my massage is already scheduled!!! I'm also shopping, and getting a mani/pedi. All alone!!! I can't wait for some Nikki time. I told my parents that the only thing I wanted for my birthday was for them to watch Drake for the afternoon! Well, I've gotta get back to my letter writing. I hope to get it mailed next week.

Until next time.....

Oh the decisions....

One of the pediatricians in the practice I will (hopefully) take Drake to is recommending his patients NOT get the H1N1 vaccine. This is according to a nurse I work with who's child sees him. I'm astonished. I'm so torn over whether or not to do all FOUR vaccines for the flu this year. Because of Drake's age, he needs two doses of each vaccine in order for them to be completely effective. And if that comes from a multi dose vial, that's FOUR doses of mercury. I wonder if parents realize that studies about such large amounts of mercury being given in such close proximity have never been done. There are no studies to provide info on how safe this is or isn't.

Because of how serious the regular and H1N1 flu both seem to be, I am leaning toward having him vaccinated. However, not more than one at a time, and only vaccines with no mercury. I really hope the peds offices around here get the vaccines that are single dose. But that's assuming I can even get my records there, and obtain an appointment. We may end up at DHEC for vaccines before it's all over.

I wish I was 100% sure of my decisions for Drake. Being torn about what to do isn't easy. I just want what's best for him, and unfortunately the research just isn't clear.

On a random note, I find it ridiculous, all the people on facebook who are announcing their child has swine flu, without a swab ever being done. How about being factual, and saying that you "think" your child has swine flu. Otherwise, it's just contributing to the mass hysteria.

On another random note, to address those who accuse me of being a hypocrite to give drugs all day, and then not fully vaccinate my family according to AAP schedule. All that's left to say there, is "Screw you". There is quite a bit of difference between giving a drug for a therapeutic effect, and giving a vaccine to prevent a disease.

I had an interesting case today, with an interesting drug reaction that none of us had ever seen. Interesting for sure, but I could have done without it. I'm past the point in my life where I like that kind of excitement. Normal and stable is just how I like it these days. Boring anesthesia is the best!!! The group of MDA's I work with are awesome!

I just wanted to throw some positives out there, because I often blog when irritated or frustrated. I should probably try to minimize that, because I've realized it can give my blog a negative vibe. Another positive for today is that my sweet husband did laundry and cleaned the kitchen! We also have our tickets to fly to Buffalo for Thanksgiving, and our football tickets to the Panthers vs. Bills game October 25 in Charlotte. Lots of exciting planning going on around here. I'm excited about going to the game, because one of our teams will finally win!!!! Ha ha, that's pretty sad.

Well, it's late and I'm off to bed. An early day awaits me in the morning!

Fun Weekend Planned

We are taking full advantage of another beautiful late summer/early fall weekend. I have my very first Bunco game tonight. And tomorrow is She Saturday, which is a local shopping event held once a year in Florence. After that, we may try to make it to a local family festival held at the local library. Photos to come, hopefully! We don't have much planned for Sunday, which is the way I like it since I start work on Monday. As much as I miss Drake when I work, I do really enjoy what I do. So I'm ready to jump back in the game.

Just a few thoughts on the weeks news. Beyonce is truly a classy woman. I'm thrilled the President called Kanye a jackass. That's awesome. I'm really happy the coach in Kentucky (was it Kentucky?) was found not guilty. I'm hope that family can get closure. I'm getting tired of hearing about H1N1. I don't think it's nearly as big of a deal as the media is hyping it up to be.

And as I'm sure you've guessed, Drake will probably not be getting the vaccine. He is SO fortunate to be watched by my Mom while Eric and I work, so he doesn't have the added risk of possible daycare exposure. Whether or not he gets it depends on which brands are available here. I will NOT give him one with mercury or squalene. He is due for his nine month appointment soon. I'll get my schedule when I start work next week, and will make his appt after that. I'm nervous about switching peds offices, because we were really happy with his care in Charlotte. I hope we'll find the same here. Hopefully the delayed and separated vaccinations won't be an issue. I'd hate to be the new bitchy mother to the practice, if anyone gives me crap.

Discoveries.....

I discovered today that there is Thai and Vietnamese food here in Florence, and I'm thrilled. AND there's an Irish pub. I'm ecstatic! I'm also a big fan of the new SuperWalmart, but not for meats and veggies. I sure do miss Earthfare for those!

In other news, can anyone share with me how to make a new blog invite only? And once you do it, can you remove people previously accepted? I need a blog inservice! My new blog, whenever I get around to making it, will be invite only. I'm tired of bitchy comments from bitchy readers who think NOTHING like I do. This way, I can accept people who actually like the things I blog about. Or if they don't like it, can respect that I think differently from them. I honestly just think it makes more sense that way, at least for me. The negative energy of rude blog readers comments is just annoying me. So for anyone offended, angry, or feeling belittled.....no worries. You won't even be tempted with my blog, since you'll no longer be able to access it. Problem solved!

I'm very disappointed with the Today show. They did a segment on homebirthing that was very one sided, and only presented very slanted research. I hope women do a variety of research when making birthing decisions.

Sure had been awhile!

Working, and life in general, have completely interfered with my ability to blog. I apologize for keeping you all hanging about the "big news". But, as always, my husband's life plan has changed, therefore changing our family's plan yet again. So, there is no big news. For now. I can't speak for tomorrow. Eric doesn't know what his plan is tonight, and I'm gonna quit making plans based on his plans for next week, month, or year. We've been busy around here, just trying to figure out what our plans are in this crazy life. It keeps it interesting:-)

Drake was four months old on the 5th, and I just can't figure out where the time went. His well visit with Dr. Dorsey is on Monday, and we are excited to see how much he weighs. He laughs and smiles all the time now, and it is so adorable. He's very ticklish, especially under his neck and arms. I'm such a mean mommy- I tickle him all the time! I love to hear him laugh and giggle. He's such a happy baby. Although, he's started teething, so that isn't making him very happy. My neighbor introduced me to Hylands teething tablets, and they work wonders. Then, I was reading the May/June edition of Mothering magazine and discovered Hylands teething gel. Those two combined, and it brings back the sweet smile I know Drake is capable of. And for those of you who read this blog and lean toward the AP/NFL way, you should totally try Mothering magazine. It's a little slice of heaven for me, when it comes every other month. Thanks mom for the subscription!

Tomorrow is Mother's day, my very first. I sometimes can't believe I am actually someone's mother. Or that I am responsible for someone else. It never ceases to amaze me just how much I love Drake. Or that I don't know how I ever lived my life without him in it. Eric's been asking me what I want. I've told him a few different things, and this is my final wish list:

A trip to the Bag Lady. What is that you ask? The Bag Lady is a store in the Dilworth area that is basically a gift shop for women, and particularly granola/hippy women. A book by Ricki Lake and Abby Epstein has come out about 'creating your best birth', and I want a copy! These two women are advocates of home birth in particular, but are more so advocates of having the birth you want. Today is a special day, because the book is going on sale at the Bag Lady, and 10% of their profits today (from the whole store, not just the book) are going to the new Charlotte birth center.

So, now I suppose you are wondering about the new Charlotte birth center. Well, this is a fabulous thing that I am VERY excited about. The birth center is in Fort Mill SC, which is basically a Charlotte suburb. It is due to open in September approximately. It will be a staff of CPM's, and they are looking for a CNM to do VBACs. There is a strong lobby in NC to legalize CPM's, but until that happens this birth center is an answer to prayers. My birth with Drake was great, but it is simply knowing there is a matter of choice now. Unfortunately the OBs in this state are a bunch of money and power hungry folks that are trying to squash another part of their competition. I'm all about women having choices. Heck, I'm all about men having choices too. I have a problem being told what to do, is that obvious yet? I don't even know that I'd choose to have my next child at the birth center, but its about time we have one in a city this large. All the midwives from the birth center will be at the Bag Lady tonight, so that's just another piece of the excitement. I'm excited to meet them and support them.

Eric is on a walk with Drake right now, giving me the chance to blog. And I'm gonna read a book later. I love Mother's day weekend! This is the best!