Thanksgiving in Buffalo!

In keeping with my New Years Resolution, a major blog update is in order. Maybe I’ll just go back to November and Thanksgiving. We were still living in Florence, but we went to Buffalo for the week of Turkey Day. We flew in Tuesday, and back out Saturday morning. It was so much fun to be able to spend such quality time with Eric’s family, and especially for the kids to play together. Drake and Lacey were still very much the two peas in a pod, while Gavin was still very much the big boy, being 4 months older than Drake. It’ll be fun as they get older, and such small age gaps don’t make a difference. Eric and I had the stomach virus before going up there, and unfortunately shared it with everyone. We both felt horrible about spreading it, but obviously that virus is contagious long after it’s victim feels better. We took the kiddos to the aquarium the Friday after Thanksgiving, and they seemed to enjoy looking at the fish. But they are all still so young, it’s hard to get a full appreciation for things like that. In any case, here is quite the photo dump.

I'm sorry I haven't gone through and described/talked about each photo like I normally do. For some reason, after I upload them, blogger is only showing the text in my edit screen- no photos. I'll work on it...

Okay, got it now!



This first one made us all laugh! Gavin was being weaned off the bottle, but Drake used the same brand. Gavin tried his best to crawl up in Grandma's lap when Drake got his bottle!
These two cuties fell asleep on the way to the toy store.
Everybody on a ride along toy! Drake was trying to teach his Grandma.
My sweet boy, even if he is a little blurry here.
His cute bib said "I'm stuffed".
All the SIL's and all the babies
Play time before lunch
Drake's first Thanksgiving meal!
How cute are these two? They kept trying to climb into the clothes baskets, so finally we just put both of them in it.
Drake thought Thanksgiving rocked.
While this is completely blurry, I still think it's cute b/c both babies are in wraps. Wearing your baby is the best!!!
All three at the aquarium.
More playtime!

I know, I know.....

It's been forever since I've blogged. However, you will be happy to know that my New Years Resolution is to blog more frequently. It's also to blog mostly about my family, rather than it being a place I vent.

We are in the process of packing up and moving back to Charlotte. We are going back for a variety of reasons. Job, OB care, pediatric care, and general level of happiness with where we live. I don't feel like elaborating right now, because I'm tired after working 12 hours. I'm beyond happy to be going back. I will really miss having my parents nearby, and I know Drake will too. Luckily, they came to Charlotte a lot before, and hopefully they will after we move back. I can't wait to only work 40 hours a week!

I'm finally getting excited about Christmas, since I finally feel prepared. I can't wait for Drake to experience his first Christmas, although he has no clue what's going on. He's getting some really cool stuff. Only nine gifts total, and I'm so proud I gave myself a limit. 5 from us, and 5 from Santa. We are only giving him four though! I'm also very proud to announce that all of the presents are either wooden, or books. Yay us! I met the no plastic challenge for Drake. I think I only bought one plastic thing out of all the gifts I bought. (For everyone)

We plan to have a chill and low key Christmas, as much as possible. Lots of time in our PJ's! Unfortunately I work Saturday, and Sunday we "move" to my parents. We are staying with them for a week, since we are moving the rest of our stuff to Charlotte. Next Saturday afternoon we have Drake's birthday celebration, and we MOVE on Sunday!!! Yippee Yay! So, as you can see we've been super busy, and it's not going to get better any time soon.

Drake is a joy as always, and is everywhere! He can take 4-5 steps before sitting or falling. He LOVES to walk behind his push toys. He says DaDa and Hey, but they aren't real words. It's more just a repeat of the "d" and "a" syllables. To some others, they may seem like words. It's really cute! He is recuperating from bilateral ear infections, but is on the mend. Last Friday night was rough, but it's been better since. I cannot believe he is almost a year old. He is so unbelievably sweet, and the favorite part of my day is always rocking him to sleep. My pregnancy is also going great, I'll be the magic 24 week tomorrow. Viability!!! It's a good thing there are 16 weeks left, because we are NOT ready for this baby. We've got to get a nursery set up, hopefully by the end of February. Eric's parents may come that month sometime, so that could be a big help!

Okay, enough of an update for now. I really do promise to be a better blogger in the new year!

Been awhile...

It's been awhile since my last blog. When working between 50-60 hours a week, it's hard to find time to sit at the computer. So, what's new with the Kirsch family? Still no pediatrician, still miss my midwives in Charlotte something crazy, and work sucks.

I feel like I was majorly misled regarding the schedule and work hours here. I thought it was just me. But I've discovered in the past two weeks that the majority of our department is looking for a new job. I was SHOCKED. But, I can understand why. The sad thing is I really like most of the anesthesiologists I work with, and the OR staff. And quite a few of the CRNA's. But as I said to Eric, if I'd worked this many hours in Charlotte, I'd be making just as much money. I'm sure many of you saw my facebook status about the grass being greener. Work is pretty much what I was referring to.

We are evaluating what it would take to move back to Charlotte. Rather, I am evaluating. Eric's job is going well here. Of course, he still doesn't have his PA license, so that could change things. But, other than my parents, there aren't many things to keep me here. I honestly don't see my extended family much more than what I did while living in Charlotte. If we move back, it means I'll be a single Mom for part of the week. We don't love that idea, but we've done it before and managed. And considering all of the other positives, I think it would be worth it. No situation is forever. Changes can always be made.

I may have the best husband in the world. While he thinks I haven't given living here enough of a chance, he also understands the myriad of reasons I'd love to be living in Charlotte again. And he's okay with me evaluating my options. Most importantly, he just wants me to be happy. And if moving back makes me happy, then he'll deal. That's why I love him:-)

We are having Christmas pics tomorrow. I'm excited!

My SIL, brother, niece, mom, and dad have ALL had a really bad stomach virus this week. I'm waiting to start vomiting at any moment. PLEASE let my family get skipped in this sickness. I'm gonna be ticked if I get sick and it interferes with our trip to Buffalo.

I can't really think of much else happening or to blog about. I will say that it's really nice having this private. I had my suspicions that someone who requested permission to access my blog was one of the people leaving nasty messages. I denied that person, and I'm glad I did. Those suspicions have pretty much been confirmed. Good thing I went with my gut instinct on that one.

A thankful post

While I don't live in Charlotte, and my midwives there aren't currently providing my care, I am still extremely thankful for them.

Each and every one of the five.

I met Jan first, so we'll start with her. I love her for so many reasons. She was SO encouraging and optimistic. To quote her, "You're going to get pregnant and STAY pregnant!". She told me in not so many words that if I was having a mental freak out moment, and just needed confirmation, to just call the office and tell them I was having cramps. I love this woman b/c she told me how to get around the system called insurance. And from that VERY first visit, she gave me a great big bear hug every time I saw her.

I think I met Tina next. Tina gets a gold star because she answered TWENTY SIX questions on my list at the 20 week visit. TWENTY SIX. Seriously, I get a freaking award that. It's funny now. She sat down, talked with me, and never once acted impatient to get out of that room. Later in my pregnancy, Tina scolded me. I was later thankful for the scolding. She told me to QUIT trying to always diagnose myself, and to CALL them with any issues or questions. She told me that they were there for me no matter what, and to never hesitate to call them. Tina was the midwife on call the day Drake was born, and was the one to catch him! She was so calming and reassuring, talked me through contractions, and encouraged me the entire way. She really coached me through pushing so that I wouldn't tear. She respected and honored my every wish. And bless her heart, she came to my room the next am, just to tell me how proud she was of me. She had her purse, and looked like hell after working a 24 hour call shift, but she still came by for 15 seconds just to say that. It really meant a lot to me to hear that from her. I had my 6 week PP visit with her, and I saw her for my first couple visits with this pregnancy. She really went above and beyond for me, even though I was leaving their practice. She got on the computer in the exam room, and went to the internet to search for midwives in the Florence area. She didn't have to do that, but it's just how these ladies are. They always go the extra step.

I met Sage next. Oh, Sage. I was NOT a fan at first. She royally pissed me off at first impression. However, she really redeemed herself, and I ended up loving her. She quickly realized that I was serious about a natural childbirth, despite being a CRNA. She also sat and chatted at numerous visits, about ways to increase my chances of NCB. She recommended books, helped reshape my thinking, and suggested the arnica oil to use during pushing.

I met Nancy next, and just for the one time. She never did appts at the location I went to, but was on call the only time I went to L&D before actual delivery. I was there about 33 weeks, concerned that my water may have broken. She was sweet, honest, and really down to earth. Once again, I almost felt like I was just chatting with a girlfriend. All of the midwives made me feel like they were old friends.

Gannon was the last midwife I met, b/c she joined the practice when I was around 36 weeks. I saw her for my last few visits, and thought she was an absolute sweetheart. She was the midwife I saw in the office the morning Drake was born. I swear her quick little exam put me into full blown labor. Therefore, I am a BIG Gannon fan. She was on call the day after Drake was born, and could not believe I had delivered so soon after seeing her. I truly went from "zero to sixty" after seeing her that morning.

Tonight I decided to write about why I love these women so much, rather than whine about how much I miss them. I wish every woman could find providers they loved to pieces.

Cranky pants

I gave my cranky baby a bottle at 6pm, and he was asleep by 6:15. I'm not sure where the crankiness came from tonight, but he was not my happy sweet boy. Apparently he felt hot to my mom and Eric today, and I took his temp before bed, but it was normal. We'll see how he sleeps I guess, and if he wakes up with a fever. Maybe he'll wake up on the right side of the crib!

No news on the pediatrician front. I don't expect to hear any decision quickly. I honestly don't expect for them to suddenly accept Drake as a patient, no matter what stink they get from administration.

No decisions about my healthcare either. Do I stick with my practice, change practices, or go with the midwife? While I love my particular OB, she is only one of six doctors that could be at the birth. 3 of whom I will NEVER meet, they only share call. (Different practice all together). That didn't bother me at first, but it does now. I could switch to a different practice, one affiliated with my employer. I work with those doc's frequently in the OR, and really like 4 out of the 5. But only on a personal level. I don't love their medicalized views that childbirth is something women need to be rescued from. I've finally finished all of my paperwork, and will be mailing that to the midwife here soon. She has to review it with my records, and verify I'm low risk before accepting me. Luckily, I'm as low risk as it gets. I don't know when I'll make this decision. I just don't feel pressured to make it quite yet. Maybe in another month?

I have a good friend back in Charlotte that is looking into a home birth for her next baby. It's nice to not feel so alone.

We have no plans this upcoming weekend, and it feels GREAT!!!

Sorry for the delay...

I've been super busy this week, and I've just gotten around this morning to inviting all of you who have requested access. No worries, though, b/c I hardly blogged this week. You've missed nothing!
This morning I had my own breakfast, fed Drake and the dogs, and had cleaned the kitchen, all by 8am!!! It's amazing what can be accomplished when little stinker wakes me up at 6:20. It's okay though, because I'm normally up at 5:30 for work. I essentially got to sleep in for an entire hour:-) Today's agenda includes some shopping and a trip to the Pecan Festival. I don't know what all the hoopla is about regarding this festival, but I may check it out. Eric had another 80 hour work week, so I doubt he'll be joining Drake and myself. He needs some sleep! Drake is napping at the moment, and we will start our fun day when he wakes up.

I'm using my online friend Shauna's idea to post each day what I'm thankful for, during the month of November. I'm doing it on Facebook. This week, I was particularly thankful for considerate coworkers. We had a known H1N1 patient that needed anesthesia care, and I had two coworkers arrange it so that I wouldn't have to do that case. They didn't HAVE to do it, because there are no policies about it. But they switched the assignments quickly, and without complaining.

My employer only has the H1N1 vaccine in mist form. Yes, the live virus form. So in between the patients with it, and the freaking employees all walking around shedding the live virus from their nose, I am doomed. I'm waiting for the fever and chills to set in at any moment.

I don't believe I ever posted an update on the never ending saga now referred to as the "pediatrician issue". After Drake's appt with the family practice doc, I resumed my quest to get him an appointment at the actual pediatricians office. I was just going to make a January appt, and pick up with them for his 12 month checkup. First problem: the lady told me she had too many people at her window to talk to me, and she'd have to call me back. That would be fine for most people, but I will more than likely be taking care of an anesthetized patient when you try to call me back. I can't exactly talk then, know what I mean? So I went to their office after work, where problem number two presented itself. She told me they SHREDDED HIS RECORDS, and I'd have to fill out the medical release forms to start the process OVER. My head nearly started spinning around. I'm not kidding.

Now, problem number three. And this is where I get on my soapbox, so you may want to skip this paragraph, and the next couple. I got a phone call two days later from a staff member. I have no idea if she was a nurse or receptionist. However, I have to admit she was pleasant despite calling to really piss me off. Maybe that's why she was pleasant? Anyhow, this Kristy chick tells me that they received Drake's complete chart from Charlotte, and the doctor had reviewed it. (She didn't say which one, and I didn't think to ask). I'm assuming Dr. Whitehead since that is who I believe she specifically works for. She proceeds to then tell me that their office won't be accepting Drake as a patient, because he is "too complicated", and the way we vaccinate is "too confusing". She says that they don't think we are a "good fit" for their practice. Apparently they were all up in arms over a piece of paper from his Charlotte chart where I (supposedly) refused all vaccines. I told her they should review it a little more closely, b/c it was actually a general release form to not hold the office accountable for any vaccine reactions. It was also a form I signed indicating that we would NOT be following the AAP schedule of vaccination, and we understood and accepted the risks associated with that. I asked her if they received his vaccine records, and she indicated they had. I pointed out that those alone indicate they are interpreting the other piece of paper incorrectly, because we do indeed vaccinate our child. We may not do it on the almighty schedule they want us to, but we get it done eventually.

This whole situation pissed me off for a number of reasons. First, I don't like being told no. At this point in time, I don't even want this pediatricians office taking care of my dogs, but they are the ONLY one my insurance pays for. So, I'm stuck. Second, them telling me "No" is them telling me that my opinion and thoughts as Drake's mom don't matter one bit. It's their way or the highway. And sadly enough, these assholes are getting away with it. I want to open their narrow little minds up just a little, and show them there ARE other ways to do things. But many of these doctors (of this practice) were raised here, went to college and med school here, and then did residency here. Here, meaning SC. Maybe this lack of variety is contributing to how narrow minded they are being. If I had a chance to talk with them, there is an very easy way to point out the lack of reasoning behind their "excuse" for not taking Drake. Their claim is he's too complicated and would be in the office too often. Well, what about formula fed babies? If a mom won't or can't breastfeed, do they kick those patients out of the practice? They are after all, by all statistics and reports, sick more often. Doesn't that then make them more complicated and in the office more often?

I'm calling bullshit on these people. In my opinion, they simply don't like, and can't handle moms who do their own research, and WANT TO MAKE THEIR OWN DECISIONS FOR THEIR CHILDREN. I'd like to tell them to have their own children if they are interested in being the end all be all in a child's medical decision making. Because this Mommy makes her own choices. I don't care what letters are behind your name, I will still do my own research and decision making. I'm sorry it pisses off the control freak in you, but not so sorry I'll blindly follow your poor advice.

Now that my heart rate is up, here's where it all stands now. I casually mentioned to my boss that the peds office for our employer wouldn't take Drake as a patient, and I was at a loss for what to do to obtain healthcare for my child. See, this hospital system heavily recruited me, and gave in to many of the things I asked for in my recruitment package. They got me here, and now they won't give my child healthcare. It's honestly something I could take back to Human Resources and my recruiter, and make a big stink about it. I chose to simply mention it to my boss in passing. He in turn mentioned it to one of the docs we work with, who asked for me to write down a few details about the situation. I sent him an email with more details than they EVER wanted to know, and now we'll just wait and see what happens. The doc we work with who wanted this info, is really high up on the administrative food chain. (Supposedly, I'm really not sure since I haven't been working there that long). He told my boss he'd just handle it at the administrative level. Whatever the heck that means. I was just going to send a letter to the administrators, but it looks like I've got someone to handle my dirty work for me.

So, after this long saga, it looks like Drake may possibly get a pediatrician. It really sucks, because now I don't even WANT him to go to this office, but it's the only one my insurance covers. There is another office in town, but it's owned by the competing hospital. It would cost us much more to go there. It's unfortunate, because I know for a fact that they have a doc on staff there who is COMPLETELY open minded about vaccines. He even takes care of kids who's parents don't vaccinate at all. If insurance wasn't an issue, we'd be seeing him in a second.

I can't believe Drake is still sleeping, and I finished this entire post.

I also wanted to add that sweet Victoria Martinsen passed away this past week. She was seven years old, and had been battling cancer for the last three years. This was an amazing little girl, and I send out heartfelt hugs to her parents Nils and Elizabeth. And to her two brothers Alexander and Nicholas. This sweet family has been through hell and back, and I'll continue to pray for their healing and comfort. I really miss all of my pediatric oncology patients and families from Charlotte.

Drake's Nine Month Portraits

I took Drake for his nine month portraits back in October, and I went last week to view the results. One word---AMAZING! I was so grateful for Collin to capture his sweet smile, his devilish smile, the ever present finger in the mouth, those cute little teeth, and of course his gorgeous blue eyes. Collin and his wife make a great team; she comes up with lots of ideas for posing and backgrounds, and he does his magic with the camera. The results are beautiful photos to remember my sweet boy at this special age. While I love all the photos, there is one that just take my breath away. It's the one of him in the blue sweater and hat, and he is staring dead into the camera. The expression on his face is so serious. The photo is seriously breathtaking. Now, maybe I just feel this way because he's my child. But I honestly think that even someone who doesn't like kids could appreciate this stunning photo.